Jacob Louder on “M”

M by Jacob Louder. Click the cover to buy.

Click the cover to buy.

Tell us a little about M. What excites you most about the story?

M was really fun to write for, like, so many reasons. First of all, I love these characters, but what author doesn’t love their characters? Okay. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I REALLY love these characters, and I had no idea how each and every one of them would linger and grow and kind of become projects of their own. I’m talking Nico, M, Sadie, and Angelique, specifically. These four characters were the ones from First that just had to return in M. I couldn’t let them go. So, what excites me about the story is seeing these characters develop into something I hadn’t really foreseen. Call me conceited, but I really think they’re beautiful.

About M: again, the story is Nico’s, but Miranda (or M) plays a huge part in Nico’s evolution as a grownup who needs to own his identity a little more, to take his words and promises seriously, to know that he has as much potential to hurt someone as he does to love them. Nico kind of cracks a little. M makes him crack, almost right in half, but I like to think that he gets his shit together in the end.

Can you describe one of the hottest moments for you in M?

Oh, by far, the scene with Nico and Sadie in Sadie’s dorm room. We’ve seen Nico horny for boy cock and girl cock, but never silicone cock. We’re talking REALLY big, thick silicone cock. I was proud of that kid.

Why is porn important, in your opinion? What’s some of your fave porn/erotica?

Porn’s important because it lets us be human, be honest humans, if we want to be. You know, ones that can fantasize and obsess and kind of want to try things just to see. Ones that think, “I thought only that turned *me* on!” Oh no, not at all. Porn is important because, when it’s done right, it can make us feel like normal humans. It can validate us. It can makes us feel not so alone. It’s really, really important.

Favorite porn is pretty much all porn, simply because I’m happy it exists and is filling the needs of someone somewhere. Favorite erotica is, oh God. How much space do I have? I just started reading Violet Blue’s anthologies for Digita Publications. Huge thumbs up for Filthy Housewives. I really like Benji Bright‘s really literary and really porny writing. Same goes for Dario Dalla Lasta. Tamsin Flowers’ Alchemy xii is something I’m reading/following right now, and I wish Oleander Plume would just write a fucking novel already. I really like my friends’ writing. I haven’t met any of them. It doesn’t matter. Also, Lana Fox’s short story “Frosting First” in Orgasmic (ed. Rachel Kramer Bussel) made me want to write erotica. I love it.

I’m in love with M’s character. Was she easy to write? What sort of things do you love about her?

First by Jacob Louder

Click the cover to buy.

At first, she wasn’t easy to write. This might sound completely fucking nuts, but I had to transition with her. She was very vivid to me from the beginning, but then I had to grow her up mentally and physically. I can admit that she got a little cloudy. What could M do with and without hormones? Turns out, she’s resourceful. She’s a survivor. And she’s probably a little too focused for someone so young, but whatever. She’s *M.*

I love her because she’s wiser than me. I love her because she doesn’t take shit and knows she’s worth the world. I love her because she asks for what she wants and needs without apology.

M and First contain such wonderful community. Why are this world and its characters so special for you?

The world is truly utopian. I wish their world was our world. I wish every kid and/or young adult could effortlessly, shamelessly, and without judgement navigate the worlds of sexual and gender identity and, in the end, decide that whatever their sexuality is or who they are or what they want is good enough. It’s fine. People will love you as you are. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Knowing at 16 or so that you are perfect and you don’t need to do a damn thing to fit in or be normal, whatever the fuck that means. You just need to do you and be you, do everything you can to just be who you are, because you are truly perfect. You will find someone that loves you. There is someone already. I think that’s pretty special.

Big thanks to Jacob Louder for an awesome interview! Folks, you can buy M (which can be read as a standalone or as a sequel to First) and enjoy.