How I Love Myself

At Go Deeper Press, we’re all about self-love, which is why we’re running The Mermaid Voyage. The following post by Angela isn’t directly about sexuality, but it’s beautifully tuned into self-love. Enjoy.

Here Are the Ways I Found to Love Myself This Week

by Angela Tavares

I changed my thoughts. Instead of thinking, “Oh,  that was dumb” or “If I don’t go running soon, these pants won’t fit anymore,” I’ve changed it to “Funny, I just dropped that on the floor” or “Yeah, I skipped out on the gym, but I can always go tomorrow if I want.”

I detached from negative and/or false feelings and emotions. This is an amazing practice I learned from a mentor—no obsessing over this and that. When I feel negativity creeping in, I identify it, feel it, but don’t join it, which only helps to fester more negativity. I get curious about it: “Oh, that’s interesting that whole work scenario is coming up again. It must have been triggered by that experience from way back when.” Properly detached, I do my best to let negative thoughts float on by. This sounds very easy to do, but it takes lots and lots of practice. Put in the time, though, because it’s worth it.

I felt grateful for what I have, instead of lingering on what I don’t. What could be better? I have my health, a place to live, a warm bed, a partner who’s amazing beyond my dreams, and an old, faithful dog. What I don’t have now, I’ll receive only if I’m open to it and only if it’s right for me, not when I’m focused on what I “lack.” With lightning bolts of “Why can’t I…?” or “Why don’t I…?” filling the air above my head, how could the universe ever sort out what I really want in life, especially when I’m putting the wrong kind of energy into it?

I found time to read for pleasure. It’s something I love to do and don’t do enough. I read all day for work, but hardly for myself. Well, not this week. Sure, I didn’t get lost in a book for hours, but 20 minutes here and there was more satisfying than it sounds. Also, I’m going to pre-order the new Xiu Xiu album on iTunes because I’m always awestruck by how their darkness gives me such emotional and creative power.

I used hand lotion. Okay, bear with me on this one. It’s winter in New England, and I’m a faithful hand washer. Plus, I’ve been washing a fair amount of dishes lately. Mix exposure to water and sometimes abrasive soap with 20-degree weather and you’ve got some seriously chapped hands. For years, I’ve ignored my dry skin. Why? I couldn’t be bothered, I didn’t have time to find the lotion, it would make my keyboard a little greasy, and so on and so on. But the days of little cuts around my cuticles and finger tips are gone for now, and I have to admit, it makes me a little proud of myself, this simple way I’ve found to take care of me.

Angela Tavares refused to believe that she would never communicate again with her loved ones in spirit. Once she opened her heart and mind to the idea, she realized almost instantly that she could (you can, too), and committed to developing her clairsentience and clairvoyance by studying mediumship as a part of her angel messenger certification. Interested in the healing arts, she is a second-degree Reiki practitioner. Angela is a writer, LGBTQ activist, and animal communicator, which means she will totally talk with your dog.