Banned for its Content: Jacob Louder’s FIRST

GDP010-First_CoverYou know how Amazon bans things? Well, they just banned FIRST. Frankly, it’s amazing they didn’t ban us earlier.

The reason they’ve said no to Jacob Louder’s FIRST series is because it features fourteen year-old Nico who has sex with other “underage” kids. If you think portrayals of young people having the sex they want is not on, don’t read FIRST or this excerpt from it below. As the wonderful Benji Bright, author of Boy Stories, says in his (now unavailable!) Amazon review, “FIRST is a truly queer work that invokes the confusing, arousing, oft boner-filled process of discovering identity and sexuality. This is unflinching erotica that’s as sexy as it is audacious. And did I mention? It’s hot as fuck.”

Thank you, Benji! We love you too.

The opening of FIRST by Jacob Louder below contains explicit descriptions of sex between queer youths who are under the legal age of consent:

My cock had never felt so hard or looked so big—I was big—and my balls were tight, like I’d fill her mouth at any second and I wouldn’t be able to pull out like I’d promised. It was weird that Hannah was sucking me, like, really fucking my cock with her mouth in a way I didn’t think she could, being a dyke and all, and, more importantly, my best and really only friend since we were about six. She had said, “I want to do it,” but it wasn’t like I asked. She just announced it, and she usually gets what she wants. We had finished watching Twilight for the eightieth time or something like that, and she checked her little, red phone to see if her girlfriend Kayden had sent a text, and she hadn’t. I watched Hannah put it down like it was something very fragile. There’s symbolism there, right? Point is, I could feel that she was upset.

“A stunning debut by the fearless Jacob Louder, FIRST hits the erotica scene with a startlingly original voice that displays an unusual freedom in expressing sexual beginnings.” —Dario Dalla Lasta, author of Squeeze Pants

But then Hannah turned to me with her hazel eyes and her full, rosy cheeks, her long hair freshly dyed the queerest of pinks—I had helped with that—and said she wanted to suck my cock. Hannah said, “But don’t come in my mouth, Nico,” and she even pointed at me with her thick finger with the chipped black polish on its nail and gave me her serious eyes, which meant that I had better listen up or else. I told her of course, of course I wouldn’t. I would come on the pink towel on the floor that was still wet from her hair and pinker now in splotches because of the dye. Hannah tossed the towel at my feet, at my striped red socks like candy canes. She dropped to her knees and waddled over to me, undid my studded belt, and took my cock out of my skull-print boxers, a Halloween gift from my mom.

With my cock in her hand, Hannah said, “Wow. This is you soft?” I swallowed hard because I didn’t know if she thought that was a good or bad thing. She hadn’t seen my junk in a couple years now, not since we were about twelve or so. But then she said, “When you’re hard, you’re going to be a monster,” and I thought, You’re right. Wait and see. At night, in bed, I could make myself huge, thrusting my hips up and fucking the tight grip of my hands, which I’d slicked with unscented body lotion.

“In a story that’s as sweet as it is sticky, Jacob Louder conjures a world that’s long on sexual possibility and short on shame. I wouldn’t mind living there.” —Natty Soltesz, author of the 2016 LAMBDA nominated College Dive Bar 1AM

Hannah smiled with her big, pink lips, which were more like the color of flower petals compared with the vibrancy of her new hair, and her tongue slipped out to lick the tip of my dick, just the slit, and I hissed like she had hurt me, like she had splashed my rod with boiling water, but it was only because I had never felt anything so good and I had always wanted to for as long as I can remember, but never in a million years did I think it would be with Hannah.

She looked at me when she put me in her mouth, and it was probably the sexiest thing I had seen ever: Hannah’s eyes on mine from way down there—I’m tall for my age, my doctor says, at 5’7”—and me already growing in her hand, and for a second, it felt like we were in love, like we could be—to me, anyway. Then I remembered Mrs. McGuire, our health class teacher, telling us how boys give love for sex and girls give sex for love, so I just stopped thinking of love altogether because I didn’t really want to be one of those boys.

Jacob Louder

GDP010-First_CoverYou can get Jacob Louder’s FIRST from:

Go Deeper Press

Barnes & Noble

Most places have banned it, so kudos to B&N! Long may they live.